Saturday, June 20, 2009

Absolute Insanity..Total Randomness...Worthless effort..

Sometimes I wonder why the heck did I cum here..Half way across the world..Feels totally Unpurposeful.. I have listened to Uravugal Thodarkadhai a million times, Kodai kaala kaatre another million times and anoushka's sitar in between..And feelin sad n out of place( well actually i am out of place, my place is forever chennai).. Days like these slap me right across my face and say "U knw wat? Ur ALONE".. I feel like getting away with this truth, but I dont know how..I know I havent come this far without any reason ( definitely my reason isnt engineering or america, its sumthin else abt which I ll blog once i am done with it, probably in another 3-4 yrs :P ) this reason gud enuf to leave appa, amma, paati, priya, subbu, gangotree, bessi beach, sarada koil, t nagar, car, my dio, jo kutti, tirusulam station and the 1000 other things that actually make my life? Shit! Days like these laugh at me sarcastically and say "Isnt it funnnn to be confined to a rectangle in a room and seeking pleasure in a laptop, watching youtube all day"..Arghhh, get way u evil face..Sometimes I feel I am not "living" my life..Wen its morning, I wait for it to become night, and when its night I sleep and it automatically becomes morning..I feel like I am chasing days and nights and not living through them..Like I think I did, in Chennai..Again the evil face pops up, but this time in a more concerned tone " Are u sure ur doing the right thing? Or do u just want to drop all this and run away back home?" and I am like Ohh plss I dont even have sumone to express this to..Sometimes I am the laughing stock..Cos, my friends brand me "perpertually homesick" and one who s very sissy abt appa all the time.. Well, I dont mind..That''s me for u..Do I sound like a grumpy person? Well, may be..U know I have changed topsy turvy after coming here, I was never this grumpy in Chennai...Wat??Nambalaya, ok get lost.. :( .. Arghhh..Days like these, when I blog abt absolute crap.. Exactly, ur appears to say "Do u even read wat u write before clicking publish?? U mad woman, get try to get back to ur senses" and I confront it and say "Just get lost, I knw how to kill time, am an expert at it now, I don want ur f****** suggestions.." And it knws that I ve reached limits of insanity for the day.. Finally I break down into tears ( not jus tears veel veel nu azhugai) and woah now it says "Preethu, idhuvum kadandhu pogum, u ll be fine sweetheart..U havent made any wrong decision..U ll not regret in future, U ll be back to chennai very soon and live in t nagar with appa amma paati, U ll drive ur car to bessi yelling at 1000 ppl on the way even if u make the mistake, eat 1 vadapav everyday, sit for hours together at sarada koil jus cos u wanted to meet her ..But when the time comes for to u do all this, appa ll be proud of wat ur.." and I rush to dial to appa..

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