Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Familiar Voidness

I have done it time and again, yet, it feels as difficult every single time. Like going to school on day 1, minus the excitement factor..

The thought that at the other end of the sleep, its gonna be a huge emotional trauma, The uneasiness in breathing, tossing and turning a million times before the sleep engulfs and waking up to the sound of alarm which reminds me that its time to go to airport, either to drop someone or to leave someone- Horrible..Period..

Could there be something worse? Well yes, Coming back to an empty home, to the deafening silence, looking at bits n pieces left behind from packing stuff..
Forgetting to lock the door thinking amma would do it and then responding to the harsh reality. Or climbing on to a plane, sitting amidst 200 unknown people and switching off the fone and departing home at 500 miles/hour.

The whole sequence is so cliche now- I know how its going to feel, I know how its going to hurt, I know how numbing its going to be, I know how its gonna choke, I know how weak am gonna be..and yet, I know how helpless I am-cos I have no idea how to prepare myself for it..

I hate this....familiar voidness......