Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A letter to thatha.....

Thatha,

Its been a year..Since u passed away..its been exactly a year...I cant believe how time flies...I cant forget any instant of this day...Getting back from Work, the way I saw u with eyes closed, mouth open, without any movement..The way paati applied viboodhi to ur forehead( I have never seen u without that thatha) and telling me not to worry.. I remember how i touched u...how cold u were...and how i felt after that... I buried myself in appa's chest... I remember how ppl carried u into the hall... I remember how much it pained..it still pains..to think of how u were lifted like an object...I remember how there was a glass case over ur body..thatha..tat night I didnt sleep.. I kept walking around u and touching u..not u..the glass...and in between I thought u breathed.. I felt like screaming"my thatha s still with me, lift the glass box"..but...the instant when i put vaaikarisi in ur mouth was the worst moment of my life so far...How many days u have fed me...how many days...rasam sadham, tirunelveli halwa...and all i fed u was raw rice....

Ur completely n my heart..everytime I c ur face on my laptop, I kiss u..again not u...the monitor.... I love u for wat u were to me...and as I promised last year this day in my blog post, I am being gud to ppl thatha.. I didnt hurt anyone, I am spending time for everyone..I am trying to make ppl happy through every small thing I can... I learnt the value of LIFE and relationships from you... I am trying to be gud to all...and I am trying not to lose anyone because of my ill behaviour...And dont worry abt paati.. I am being very nice to her..

Thatha, ur varushaabdikam happened at home 15 days back.. I couldnt push a minute here..my mind was immersed in ur thots...I called home so many times... I felt so left out... so  left out...Appa said it went on well...Appa would have been terribly upset...Felt really bad that I couldnt be with him...

I love u thatha...for all that u did when u were physically alive..and for all that u ve taught me...in ur after life... 

I really really miss u...and will...forever...the wound is fresh and the pain is deep....LUV U THATHA...

Ur loving grand-daughter,

Preethu.